New address: 24 Farnsworth Street, Boston, MA 02210-1409.
Importance of Outcome
Importance of Relationship
The grid above displays five styles of conflict engagement.
Each style’s placement reflects its emphasis on relationship and outcome. Along
the left side of the grid, the importance of the relationship between the
conflicting parties can be ranked low, medium, or high. Across the top of the
grid, the importance of the conflict’s outcome can be ranked low, medium, or
high. Each combination of the two rankings represents a different style of
conflict engagement. For example:
Someone who feels that building the relationship is of high
importance, and that getting the desired outcome of the conflict is of low
importance, may be more likely to accommodate a partner’s wishes.
Someone who feels that the outcome is of high importance
and the relationship is of low importance may compete by demanding that things
be done his/her way.
Someone who feels that both the relationship and the
outcome are of low importance may simply avoid trying to resolve the conflict.
When someone feels that the outcome and the relationship
are equally important, the best options are to compromise or to work
collaboratively to achieve a result both partners find satisfying.
Think of a recent conflict you had with your partner, a
child, or someone else with whom you have a relationship that is important to
you. Looking back on the situation, consider the following questions:
Would you say that your primary approach was accommodation,
avoidance, compromise, collaboration, or competition?
Did this approach reflect the value you would assign to the
importance of the outcome and the importance of the relationship? If so, how? If
not, why not?
What might you have done differently to resolve the
conflict while supporting your partner or enhancing your relationship?
What have you found to be the most effective way to handle
conflict with your partner?
For more information contact web @ uua.org.
This work is made possible by the generosity of individual donors and congregations.
Please consider making a donation today.
Last updated on Saturday, October 29, 2011.
Sidebar Content, Page Navigation
More Ways to Search
Donate to Support This Program and the Ongoing Work of the UUA
Read or subscribe to UUA.org Updates for the latest additions to our site.
Learn more about the Beliefs & Principles of Unitarian Universalism, or read our online magazine, UU World, for features on today's Unitarian Universalists. Visit an online UU church, or find a congregation near you.