The Consultation on Ministry to and with Youth: From Youth Programs to Youth Ministries
One small yet significant shift occurring today as part of the Consultation on Ministry To and With Youth is around the language of what youth "stuff" is. Is it programs? Is it activities? Or is it ministry? By relegating youth's involvement in Unitarian Universalist (UU) communities to the realm of programs, we sometimes unintentionally marginalize and separate youth from the larger ministry of congregations. What the Consultation process has confirmed is that youth are yearning for ministry, support, care, empowerment, nurture, relationships, UU identity, and connection to a community. Programs are one way of doing ministry, but they are not and cannot do everything. The dialogue taking place as part of the Consultation process is working to build a shared vision of a comprehensive ministry with and for youth, with a goal of inclusive and vibrant Unitarian Universalist youth ministry. It is a shift in attitude and priorities. While this change may seem small or only symbolic, it has the potential for wide-reaching effects.An example: The language changes occurring at the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA) level. Youth Office staff are now called Youth Ministry Associates (instead of Youth Programs Specialists). The name of the office will soon change to the Office of Youth Ministries. What role will you and your congregation play in this shift?
The following are submissions to the "Community in Times of Change" Synapse feature. They are included in chronological order of when the author was involved in UU youth ministry.
Rev. Dan Harper, 45 Years Old
First Unitarian in New Bedford, MA
You asked for the thoughts of
current and former YRUUers. I was not in YRUU [Young Religious Unitarian Universalists], but I was member of an LRY [Liberal Religious Youth] local
in the tumultuous years from 1975-1978, and thought you might be interested in
some thoughts from that time.
My LRY local decided to stay away from the Fed (what we'd now call a district) after two kids from our local went to a con, where they saw the expected sex and drugs, but also handguns. That was just too scary. The Fed sent a representative out to try to convince us to join up again. He "borrowed" five bucks from me for train fare home, which of course he never paid back. Which just reinforced our feeling that we should stay away from the Fed.
There had been plenty of problems in our local. Just before I joined, it had been shut down. The idea of "youth autonomy" (the buzzword before "youth empowerment") contributed to the group's decline. By the time I was in the youth group, the assistant minister of the church ran the group (he paid attention to what we were interested in, but we knew he was in charge). It worked for me—I loved youth group. It worked for more than twenty other kids, too. We went on retreats, we put on a play for the church, we talked about Zen Buddhism, we went to a John Mayall concert in Boston, we participated in church leadership retreats, and we listened to Crosby Stills and Nash endlessly. Every once in a while, I still run into people who were in that youth group when I was, and we share fond memories.
Much later, when I learned that LRY had ended in 1982, I mourned the loss of the old familiar name—but I also remembered how sick and dysfunctional LRY had been at the Fed level. Dissolving LRY, and creating YRUU, was the right thing to do at that time. I only wish it had happened in 1972, instead of 1982, so I could have had the benefits of that fresh start.
Joseph (Joey) Santos-Lyons
Continental YRUU Steering Committee
1993
Currently UUA Director of Campus
Ministry & Field
Organizing for Young Adults
YRUU was my life for several years, and it deeply shaped my theological and social views. I'm heartened by the leadership of youth, even when I may disagree, as I believe that they are sensitive to injustice, creative in their ideas, and have the energy to make heaven here on this earth. For me, consistent, caring, relational adult mentors were key as a youth leader, and I believe this is the place that is still a priority need. It is not just an intellectual exercise, or numbers game of lining up adults, but for adults to be strategic, intentional, and accountable in their connecting with youth. A prayer I have for this Consultation process is that the intensive discussions and significant face time between youth and adults will lead to more courage and hope in strong intergenerational relations.
Jennifer Louise Dunmore, 21 Years of Age
How do you feel about the
Consultation on Ministry To and With Youth?
I honestly don't know enough
about them to comment. In general I worry about youth voices being heard and
having their voices at the table. In my YRUU experience I was part of many a
committee where adults did not realize the power and privileges they had in
relation to us and how hard it was for us to speak up at times because of lack
of support.
How do you feel about YRUU and this
time of change?
I think that it's very exciting. YRUU had a large impact on
my life and I appreciate it for all that it has given me. At the same time, I
think when I started I knew to some extent that YRUU was heading towards a time
of big change. Re-focusing on Anti-Racism/Anti-Oppression work made us take a
hard look at ourselves as a community and the ways in which we needed to change.
YRUU has fulfilled many of the goals that it was originally created to do, for
instance growth was a major part of that. YRUU is a pretty substantial
organization at the moment. I think it's time to refocus, find a new direction,
and be really excited about that.
What effect does change have on
your experience of the YRUU and UU community?
Change makes me really happy.
It gives me hope in the future of YRUU and UU community as a whole. To be
stagnant is to go nowhere, to never grow. Change means that we are learning from
our past, that it is becoming more apparent that systems that we grew up loving
are actually very destructive, but instead of doing nothing about it, we are
working towards finding a new way to live out our principles. The whole
organization is going through change. Participating in C*UUYAN [Continental Unitarian Universalist Young Adult Network] has confirmed my
long held belief that YRUU always manages to be slightly ahead of the game in
the UU community. I think that soon too the young adults will be re-evaluating
where they are going and what they want their organization to look like.
What changes are you most excited
about?
I'm most excited about changes that incorporate anti-oppression work
into the framework of YRUU. Learning how to struggle together in an inclusive
and loving community will be hard but I think YRUU can do it. I don't know of
any specific changes that are to occur, but I trust in the youth of this
generation to learn from our mistakes and create something beautiful.
What are you nervous or anxious
about?
As stated earlier what I am most anxious about is youth voices
getting heard, its adults, young adults, anyone significantly older thinking
that they know what the youth need better than they do. The lack of youth
empowerment in the UU community is a serious issue that is not addressed nearly
enough. The amount of condescension that I lived through in my time at YRUU was
insane, and it was always worse at the continental level than it was on the
local. I think that older folks need to realize that youth empowerment is about
actively listening to youth while also keeping them accountable. Listen to their
voices, hear what they say, and make sure they follow through on it. I learned
this most poignantly from former Youth Programs Director Jen Divine who once
told us during a steering committee meeting that she saw her role as Youth
Programs Director as simply an implementer for the decisions we made. She was
our advocate in the UUA, but if things went wrong, we would have to take
responsibility for that as well.
What have your recent experiences
been in YRUU and as a youth in Unitarian Universalism—the highs and the lows?
I don't have much recent experience in YRUU. I've seen the kids I work for
as a Jr. High counselor at Lake Geneva Summer Assembly start to get into it, but
other than that I've been fairly removed for the past two to three years. My
experiences of it when I was in high school were of amazing self-discovery and
utter rage. YRUU taught me that I really could change the world. Through
Steering Committee I learned that I had a voice, how to manage meetings, and how
to organize. Through anti-racism work I learned a lot about myself, what I have
internalized over the years, and began to realize the ways in which I was
oppressed and privileged outside of my race. Through anti-racism and
anti-oppression work I also began to realize how messed up YRUU was. I've been
shut down by adults and peers, told that my experiences growing up as a
bi-racial child were no different that those who grew up white, not been able to
participate in worships because of temporary disability, watched boys and men
sexually harass and assault women, have queer rights mean only "rights for
queer, wealthy, white men", seen the lack of discussion around class, watched
the entitlement of people who can't even be brought to clean up after
themselves, seen struggles over gender identity disregarded, and have watched
people leave the community because they just couldn't take the beating anymore.
I'm not going to lie, I have benefited from the system immensely, coming from a
family that is college educated and wealthy. I'm sure that I have participated
in YRUU injustices. I was, and in many ways still am, part of the odd YRUU
leadership elite, more commonly known as the "continental cool kids" the group
of kids that had the money, time, or institutional knowledge to attend
continental conferences and make their way into YRUU leadership. It has a long
history, and a whole lot of power, and I am a part of it. The community and
politics of that group aren't what is wrong though; it is the exclusionary
aspects of it.
What I would like to see in YRUU is a more inclusive
community based organization. Even through all the my time in continental YRUU
my youth group has meant the most to me. I do however realize that not
everyone's youth groups are constructive to their dealings with oppression. For
instance, many youth of color get much more out of continental events because
within their youth group they are the only people of color and can't find
community around that identity. The other major change I would like to see is
the recognition of social justice as a strong spiritual experience for many.
When I was in YRUU there was a strong focus on social justice work and much
worry that we were not focusing enough on the spiritual aspect of our
organization. For me the two are not exclusive. In doing anti-oppression work,
working for a better world and building stronger community I found a sense of
spirituality and centering. I hope that YRUU of the future can recognize and
celebrate this connection that many people I know have found.
I am a YRUUer who has seen it all, am a Groundwork Trainer, was on the continental Steering Committee from 2001-2003, and have been to WAY too many Youth Councils. I know far more than I want to about the UUA, have been involved in DRUUMM some and have also done a few things for C*UUYAN. I am probably related in some way to any continental YRUU anti-oppression work that has happened in the last five years and I know a whole lot about the history of anti-racism work in YRUU. I know too many people and have too many connections, all of whom I love dearly and are all partially responsible for the person I am today.
I am originally from Evanston, IL, with a home church of Second Unitarian in Chicago, and grew up the Central Mid-West District. All of these places will always be home for me. Currently though I attend Carleton College in Northfield, MN, where I have never attended a UU group of any type.
Samantha Magnus (Canadian, 20 Years Old)
I've always kinda liked Fiona. She has dark eyes and a double chin, and hair with so much volume that her quiet voice will take you by surprise. We live a block apart and used to catch the 59 route together after Astrophysics.We called it Ass-fizz class, and Dr. Monzon taught it in Hodges 104: one of those giant lecture halls that looked like they could soften the lights and pad the chairs, charge admission and play old films in black-and-white. We both liked to sit in the front row; not in the very front but off to the side, underneath the 'EXIT' sign. That's where we met. Whenever Monzon's deep voice lulled us deeper and sleepier into deep space, one of us would nudge the other and point at that little red sign. A reminder, we agreed, that we always had the opportunity to escape, and it was ultimately our own will that trapped us in the belly of the university.
Fiona and I agreed on just about everything. We spent the whole bus ride agreeing about politics, weather patterns, hairstyles, lover and ex-lovers, even religion (she wasn't a practising U*U [Unitarian, Universalist, or Unitarian Universalist], but by some definitions I suppose neither am I). Our relationship pleased me and I never sought to challenge it.
One wet Friday afternoon, when the bus turned the corner by the mall, Fiona wiped the condensation off the window with her sleeve and pointed at the movie listings lit up over the parking lot. I couldn't read so through the rain, but apparently it was the opening night of Jackass 2 because she squealed, "I loved Jackass!" and worse: "I can't wait to see the sequel." At first I figured she must be sarcastic. But then she gave me this expectant look and I knew she wasn't.
Somewhere inside my brain there was a head-on collision. If you hooked a microphone to my frontal lobe you would probably hear squealing tires and a loud crunch. My neural pathways were yoga-twisted into extended-downward-pretzel position and I didn't know what to make of it.
Jackass is about stupid people doing stupid things. Its box office success is testimony to all that is wrong with society. I know the kind of people who like those kind of movies. People who would pay dollars to watch mindless filth before they would give a dime for charity, recycle their plastics, bike to work, or do anything worthwhile at all.
I usually had no trouble or hesitation tilting my nose to a sophisticated slope and explaining to the unenlightened how a movie like Jackass is a waste. Like something that escapes down the drain and pollutes the ocean and kills the dolphins of the civilized mind. To an appropriate audience, I could rant for decades. But this was different.
If we were in a group, I might have smacked her right down. I might have leaned over and spoken into the next open ear: "Is this dame daft or what?" Or perhaps less direct but still stinging, something like "Oh no, they've brainwashed you too." Less sharp—a club instead of a knife—and completely discounting her right to an opinion.
If Fiona were someone else, someone I thought of as endearingly simple, I would have held my tongue. Maybe a courteous "Is that right?" and moved on. Dismissing, and almost worse.
But I have deep respect for Fiona. She likes the same musicians, the same books, the same professors etc and for all the same reasons as I do. Where she isn't my match, she is my better: introducing new perspectives, ideas, authors, and, well, new films. She has an orange umbrella. She has an older brother in prison. She has an A+ in anthropology. She's not the type you bow down and worship, but she is pretty frickin' cool.
So I didn't blow off the comment. Instead I dove in: "What do you like about Jackass?"
We spent the rest of the trip home discussing the role of authority in life. The cult of productivity. The indoctrination of what is worthwhile: money, material, 'quality' time (all things you can measure with a stopwatch or a metre-stick). Jackass is a fart in the face of these ideals. It's a movie about recklessness, about unpredictability, and yes, about stupidity. It doesn't claim to be a statement; that's part of its authenticity. It's about being a jackass, and making barrels of money. It will never play at Cannes and never get an Oscar, and that's why Fiona likes it.
This story is not about promoting Jackass. In fact, while I have a new appreciation for the film, I've never actually seen it (and I still don't want to). This story is about change. I changed the way I reacted to the words "I loved Jackass!"
The change may seem minor, but a small adjustment in mindset can be like a small adjustment in your bow-arm. When you release the arrow, it flies in a very different direction. Fiona's was not the only praise I've heard for Jackass; I've met flocks of people who enjoyed the movie (in fact, millions liked it, hence the sequel).
What inspired me to change was my respect for Fiona. I respected who she was and what she had to say. Instead of insulting or even ignoring her opinion, I asked about it. I learned a bit about the movie, a bit about Fiona, and a bit about life and the universe and where we fit in. I was respectful, I was open, and I grew.
I wanted to tell this story after I read a heart-breaking email sent by an ex-youth office employee. The email said that positive change in YRUU starts with change in your youth group. It starts with change in you.
Next time you hear something ridiculous, even if it's the dumbest opinion you've ever heard in your life, think: Respect and openness. We don't have to agree. We learn more from each other when we don't agree. We learn more from each other when we ask. A girl like Fiona, with her quiet voice, can take you by surprise.
I grew up with the Unitarian Church of Calgary (AB) and was very active with the youth group there: I went to regional conferences, I served as YCR [Youth Council Representative] at Youth Council, I trained to be a Leadership Development Conference Leader, and most excitingly, I was a youth representative on Canada's Statement of Principles Taskforce.
After moving to Victoria (BC) for University, my involving in the U*U community dwindled. I've been moving around a lot and since September 2005, I haven't lived close to any U*U communities. I am currently working in the small town of Agassiz (BC). I am returning to Victoria in January and I look forward to joining the U*U Campus Group which is now going strong.
For more information about the Consultation on Ministry To and With Youth and the events leading up to it, visit the History page of the Consultation on Ministry to and with Youth.For more information contact youth @ uua.org.
Last updated on Saturday, April 19, 2008.
