Family Discussion Suggestions
Identity and Race
by Jacqui James
Racism cannot
survive where difference and diversity are affirmed, welcomed, honored, and
celebrated. Helping our children deal with diversity is the foundation of an
anti-racist upbringing. Diversity training begins in the family. There are
simple, gentle steps you can take to guide your children toward tolerance and
acceptance and steer them away from bias and bigotry. These may be the most
important steps you take in your family toward ending racism.
- Help your children learn more about your family's ethnic backgrounds and
culture. Many European-American children may think they don't have an ethnic
background. It is especially important for children to realize that their
ancestors had customs, values, stories, rituals, etc. that are an important part
of who they are. Create a family tree. Start by recalling the relatives you know
and then ask those who are living to recall the relatives they know. When
possible collect stories about your relations. Your family may want to read the
book, Who Am I by Aylette Jenness from the Boston Children's Museum
Multicultural Celebrations. This is the story of a white child working to
understand his ethnic identity.
-
On an evening when rice is part of the family meal, discuss how in different
families and cultures, rice is prepared differently. The book Everyone Cooks
Rice by Norah Dooley is an excellent resource for helping children understand
how preparation of this common meal staple is shaped by culture and custom.
-
Talk about the commonalities of people. Help your children to understand
that while we often focus on the outward differences of people, basically we are
all more alike than we are different. Encourage them to think about how all
people are the same regardless of who they are and where they live.
-
Talk about how much diversity there is in our world—buildings, games,
books, foods, plants, animals, activities, etc. and how these differences make
our lives more exciting. Invite them to talk about the diversity they have
observed. Then talk about human diversity. How is this viewed in your family? Is
it perceived as something that makes life more exciting and interesting? Or is
it perceived as something to fear and avoid?
-
Talk about the Dr. Seuss book "Sneetches." How have they seen those same
dynamics in action in their school, neighborhood, church, community and other
activities? How do they feel about this? Have they ever been the target of
prejudice in some way? A second conversation involving Sneetches and the
dynamics of prejudice might invite them to imagine that they live on a planet in
some other part of the galaxy, far, far away. The people there learned about
space travel a long time ago and now send space ships to many parts of the
universe. They have a project of going to other planets and studying their
societies and then making suggestions about how they can have a better world.
Your children are among the people who have been chosen to go on one of these
missions to the planet Earth. What advice would they give to the inhabitants of
Earth about dealing with diversity among people?
-
Talk about the Civil Right movement of the 1960s. Ask your family to imagine
being unable to eat or sleep in most hotels, not being able to sit where you
wanted in a movie theater; having to always sit in the back on a bus, being
forbidden to drink from certain water fountains. Tell them that this was the way
life was for all African American people in the southern part of this country
for a long, long time. Finally, in about 1955, a movement of ordinary men and
women arose to challenge this way of life. The people used boycotts (not buying
or using certain products or services), marches, and other forms of peaceful
protest to bring an end to this injustice. Let them know that Unitarian
Universalists were very concerned about the rights of all people and many UUs
went to the South to participate in marches and demonstrations. You may wish to
tell or read them the story "The Parting of the Waters" from A Bucketful of
Dreams by Chris Buice, published by the UUA's Skinner House Books. (Available
from the UUA Bookstore)
-
Help your children understand that humor at the expense of others is
hurtful, often doing nothing more than reinforcing stereotypes.
-
Attend local arts programs, especially those of different ethnic groups.
Take your children to expose them to art, dance, music, theater, and film from
diverse backgrounds. Talk with them about what they like most about these
programs.
-
Share with your family the current understanding about the origin of human
beings that indicates a deep sense of human oneness beyond the superficial
variations we call race. Visit a modern museum's display on the origins of human
beings.
-
Discuss ethnic differences. Children are fascinated with their bodies and
the bodies of others. They naturally notice differences of skin color, hair
texture, and other physical characteristics. Ignoring a discussion of human
difference can lead children to feel uneasy about those differences, leading
them to feel there is something wrong with people who are different from them.
- Help your children learn how to handle prejudice. Inform them they have a right never to be subjected to racist slurs or be present when racist remarks are directed at others. Play-act or role-play situations where this occurs and help them develop appropriate responses and behaviors. These might include telling a perpetrator, "I don't like what you're saying, please stop," or enlisting the support of a peer or another adult.
Last updated on Thursday, March 8, 2007.
