Involve Whole Church for Vital Youth Ministry
December 15, 2008
Five years ago there was no organized youth group at First Parish in Watertown, MA. This year there's a group of eight. For a church with 115 members that's no small feat. It happened because of the persistence of Director of Religious Education Roberta Altamari, a congregation that made a commitment to youth, and youth who discovered the value of spending time with other Unitarian Universalist (UU) youth.At the 950-member UU Church of Arlington, VA, there are fourty youth who participate regularly in a youth group and other activities. There are sixty to seventy others on a mailing list, many of whom come occasionally. The youth group meets on Sunday morning. Each year the 8th-graders work through the Our Whole Lives (OWL) comprehensive sexuality curriculum while 7th-graders do the Coming of Age program. On Saturday night the junior youth group meets, and there is another OWL course, this one for 11th- and 12th-graders. There are eight youth advisors and twenty other adults leading youth programs.
Two congregations, two different paths toward making youth ministry a vital part of congregational life. Ministry to youth has become a major focus of the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA), which just completed a three-year study of the topic. The Consultation on Ministry To and With Youth involved thousands of youth and adults in meetings across North America. Its final report, with more than sixty recommendations, went to the UUA Board of Trustees in October. Now the board and UUA staff are working to determine how to implement those recommendations.
A shift is occurring in the way the UUA and congregations regard youth. As the Consultation report notes, "There is a widespread desire to shift our community's thinking from youth programs to youth ministry."
Arlington's Director of Youth Ministry Andrew Mertz explains how he sees it: "Ministry to and with youth is a comprehensive approach to fulfilling the needs youth have that can only be provided in a church community. The youth who come to our congregations are looking for the same things as adults in spiritual growth, community, social action, identity, celebration, and worship. Youth programs tend to be focused on a specific event. Youth ministry is more about the relationship we are in with each other as we live our lives."
Sara Eskrich, a UUA youth ministry associate who helped facilitate the Consultation process, adds: "We're looking at a real definition of ministry. Many of our congregations have had a certain door for youth on Sunday mornings—the youth group door. We'd like to encourage congregations to really welcome youth into the front door of the church and to involve youth on committees, in choir, on the governing board, and in social justice and worship."
When Altamari became Director of Religious Education (DRE) at Watertown, the youth program had declined, she says. Some parents were requiring youth to stay through the eighth grade and then they dropped out. Some left before that. To build a youth group, Altamari started in the lower grades. "If your third-through-fifth-graders are bored they won't stay past the point they don't have to. We are working hard to make the curricula more engaging so that we wouldn't lose those kids. If you can get them to stay through Our Whole Lives and then the Coming of Age year they will bond and probably continue into the youth group."
For a couple years there were no youth for a youth group at Watertown. But there were two middle schoolers: Cody and Giles. Altamari helped them stay connected at First Parish by designing individual projects for them. "People joked that it was my pet project to keep these two boys," she says. She created a program of art coupled with UU principles. Individuals in the congregation did woodworking, fabric painting, photography, quilting, and other projects with them. In the absence of other youth their age, Altamari sent them to First Parish, Cambridge, for the OWL and Coming of Age programs.
Another idea that paid off was that although they did Coming of Age at Cambridge, their mentors were Watertown members selected by them. "That helped keep them connected to the Watertown community," says Altamari. She then introduced them to district youth events where they connected to other youth and discovered the world of Unitarian Universalism outside First Parish.
And then last spring, the work and persistence paid off. Five other youth came of age and a real youth group was formed. The youth love it so much that they are starting to invite friends to join them. They're doing fundraising projects, district leadership training events, inviting adults for "popcorn theology" movie nights, and planning worship services and recreational events. "It takes time and patience to create a youth group," Altamari says. "It can take years of work. You have to take a vested interest in every youth. Start with what you have and it will grow."
It's essential, she says, that the congregation be supportive. "People here understand the value of a strong religious education program." People suggest and do projects with the youth, and show support financially and by being friendly to the youth. Involving the congregation helps the youth feel like part of the church community. "Now, the only youth we lose are the ones who move away."
Both congregations conducted workshops to gather information for the Consultation on Ministry To and With Youth. Mertz says he relearned just how many different ways youth are stretched by various commitments. "I know it takes a lot for them to show up and offer something," he says. "We're able to appreciate that. We don't take our youth for granted."
Mertz offers this advice to other congregations trying to build a youth group: Find a good adult or a few adults, train them, make sure they are connected to the church and the wider UU community. Get the parents on board, and help them understand this is more than just another group—this is ministry. It is hard to deliver a complete experience, he says, without trained adults and engaged parents.
Once you have a group, Mertz says, work on drawing in outside resources to balance out the ministry with music, social justice, etc. Ask your minister to develop two services a year that speak to youth. "Don't put the burden of creating the whole youth experience onto the youth or the few adults who work with youth," he says.
Mertz says he feels rewarded when he sees he's made a difference. "I may not hear about it until two or three years later, that some little bit of wisdom ended up changing someone's life," he says. "I hear it once and know there are probably a dozen other stories like that out there."
"To me, being a part of a youth ministry that is affirming for our teens is the reward," says Altamari. "Seeing our youth putting our UU faith into action with the way they treat others and the projects they do is inspiring on many levels. I consistently hear in explicit and implicit ways from our youth and their parents that our youth ministry is transforming the lives of our teens in many positive ways."
For more information contact interconnections @ uua.org.
Last updated on Friday, April 18, 2008.
